no need for weather reports

we haven’t felt a drop of rain since april. the only things raining down have been qassams on one side and shells on the other.

i usually take the news in stride. its sort of necessary thanks to the dismal amount of positive news in the world these days, let alone in this troubled region i currently reside in. but reading the news the past few days has left me feeling pretty uneasy.

the low-grade war on the gaza-israel border has been escalating for some time now. barrages of homespun, qassam rockets fall daily on the Israeli town of sderot; nerve-racking and dangerous for the residents, but lacking accuracy they rarely cause damage or injury. in response, israel sends showers of “targeted” shellings (which often seem to be equally inaccurate) aimed at terrorist leaders and qassam launch sites in the gaza strip. but they have managed to kill several dozen palestinians civilians and destroy gaza’s only power plant, as well as hitting some (but not all) of the intended targets.

then came the attack on an army post just outside of the strip which left 2 israeli soldiers dead and one kidnapped somewhere in the depths of gaza’s slums and refugee camps. i’m impressed they’ve been able to keep him hidden in such a small place. i once stood on a small, small hill just east of gaza and was amazed at how easy it was to look over the entire territory and spot the sea. they call it a strip for a reason.

my apprehension was augmented after dozens of palestinian lawmakers and ministers from all major west bank cities and east jerusalem were arrested by israeli forces. future negotiations between current administrations (if they were ever going to happen in the first place) will be most likely be impeded by the fact that one government arrested the other en masse.

in light of all these activities, i agreed to join some friends from work at a demonstration against the IDF actions in gaza (which have not only killed civilians, but also cut off power, fuel and water to much of the strip). while the demonstration itself wasn’t much to mention, it certainly brought some interesting characters together. one man, with a grin so goofy I was convinced he had to be American, carried a sign stating, “aleeza olmert: you make coffee every morning for a war criminal.” numa, my roommate’s dog, made an appearance, making him probably the most politically active canine around. we also saw the israeli tanks amassed near the border and heard the sky shaking with explosions, just an hour drive from my house. although its still unsettling, back in yafo on a quiet friday evening, i feel almost worlds away and im back to wondering why it cant rain to break the humidity.

Birthwrong

Co-authored by Annie and Hannah, freelance BDH columnists

Birthright Israel recently rescinded the admission of David Ben-Goldberg to the free 10-day program when they learned of his intent to extend his stay in Israel for the purpose of joining the Japanese Sumo Wrestler weeklong "Fellowship and Peace" tour.

Ben-Goldberg, a student at Brandeis University, was shocked and outraged to learn of his expulsion from the trip. The Jewish Studies and Japanese History major had been spending all of his evenings and weekends preparing for the excursion. He had recently achieved the status of yokozuna, the highest rank for a wrestler, at the Waltham Sumo Wrestling Institute.

Birthright first became suspicious of Ben-Goldberg's plans when he requested two seats and six extra-carb meals for his complimentary El-Al flight. Birthright representatives confirmed that his removal from the program was part of a broader policy to prevent participants from "exploiting the free plane ticket to further 'non-Jewish causes.'" International director of marketing for Birthright elaborated that, "it is not in our agenda to help people find programs that aim to strengthen the claims of other ethnic groups."

"I just wanted to see the other side. Another perspective," said Ben-Goldberg, who is unable to see his own toes due to his massive stomach. "Also, Sumo wrestlers have many things in common with Jews," he asserted. "For example, during the holidays, Haredi men eat approximately the same number of calories as Sumo wrestlers. Also, without wrestling, there would be no Jews. Jacob, our patriarch, wrestled with an angel. And that's how he became Israel. Wrestling is totally the new Zionism."

A defiant Ben-Goldberg continued, "And it's not like I'm that Brown student who went to Gaza or wherever because he heard they had the best hummus. Besides, if the sumos kidnapped me and took me back to their sadogatake (stable), it would be like a dream come true." Ben-Goldberg is now trying to raise money to join the Sumo mission on his own.