i can gather all the news i need on the weather report

actually, that’s a lie. israeli politics are going wild this week. sharon has decided to leave likud and form a new party bringing the country to early elections (probably in march). and peretz, the new underdog labor leader with his socially conscious politics, certainly brings a different flavor to the standard poo-poo platter of israeli prime minister candidates. early elections seem to have become a trend here over the past decade or so. it adds to the atmosphere of political (social, economic) instability but perhaps its better than having just one fool in charge for 8 years. regardless, political analysis is not my field of expertise, so suffice it to say, i’m waiting to see what this change in the wind will bring.

up north, not far from where i spent last weekend visiting cousins, the fragile 5-month calm between hezbollah in southern lebanon and the israeli army ended in rocket fire and retaliations- a reminder that quiet is not peace and that whoever is elected will have his hands full.

on a much lighter note, while i am generally happy and busy in this crazy land, there are moments (possibly exacerbated by feasts of turkey and brown-bashing on foxnews) when i hanker for certain people and places of times past. it may be that hearing from friends across oceans only fuels my nostalgia, but it is worth it and their words are worth sharing. here is a collection of favorite excepts from recent emails that have made me nearly pee my pants:

“the guys in the office are listening to ace of base right now. and singing along. oh man. if it isn't bollywood music then it's usher and if it isn't usher, it's ace of base.”

“Thank you for the weather report, Weatherwoman Hannah. It helped indeed. Basically I'll bring my lederhosen and be good to go.”

“by the way, the sex in this Congressional office is great, but it's mostly with people who have medicare issues. The illegal immigrants are usually snorting crack with the office pet (a turtle named max).”

“Napoleon Dynamite is such a funny movie. When I first saw it, I was like "what the heck is funny about these stupid people," but it kind of revolves in your mind again and again and every time you remember something from it, it just cracks you up. I think we should talk about one day when we are stoned.”

“i think there are squirrels in our roof - maybe raccoons, and i'm pretty sure they stole my new toothbrush.”

“speaking of brown, matt recently got his yearbook, and it is great! the pictures of everybody are SO UNBELIEVABLY BAD!! i don't think i saw one good picture of any of our friends, at least in the back part with all the portraits. i foresee a future moment, when i am being celebrated at the end of a staggering successful government career, and at the height of the party as the speeches are being made in my honor in the fancy 5-star hotel ballroom, someone (probably you) starts into a what-he-was-like-then power point show of my life, and my brown university year book portrait gets plastered up onto the screen, 50 times larger than life, and that moment will be the worst moment of my entire life, worse than when my wife leaves me, worse than when i am personally responsible for a miscalculation that starts a bloody war. having people see my yearbook picture will be the worst moment.”

these quotes are anonymous because they were replicated without permission and they may or may not be taken out of context. if you’re not quoted and think you should be, then maybe you should write me more emails. and a prize for anyone who can correctly identify all of the authors.